hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
