Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
