how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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