idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
