You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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