didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
