I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
