I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
did i walk over a car last night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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