just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do vagina's smell?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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