We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
