so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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