So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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