S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
