She's JV to your varsity
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
