You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
