Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
