No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
high people should be assigned attendants
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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