Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
