I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
