Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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