Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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