we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
