tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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