We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
