Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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