Welp...herpes.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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