Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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