what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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