Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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