I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
