I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
