Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
