yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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