She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize