if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize