Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
