i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize