I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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