I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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