paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Please don't give away my fajitas
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize