I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Boobs speak an international language.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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