ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
