Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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