i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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