Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
