Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
