I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
