i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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