Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.

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  (630): 8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs. http://tfl.nu/mvq2
  Replies (13) Good night (2670) Bad night (562)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect

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  (317): I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect http://tfl.nu/eleg
  Replies (13) Good night (1112) Bad night (2350)
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  (310): View more from California

  Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..

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  (310): Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand.. http://tfl.nu/3e9c
  Replies (28) Good night (1197) Bad night (5853)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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  (971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof
  Replies (18) Good night (5843) Bad night (1222)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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  (615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car. http://tfl.nu/bhcd
  Replies (11) Good night (3578) Bad night (1192)
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  (707): View more from California

  I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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  (707): I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet http://tfl.nu/0aqf
  Replies (10) Good night (1727) Bad night (3473)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

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  (336): You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/k43u
  Replies (4) Good night (2255) Bad night (1412)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.

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  (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real. http://tfl.nu/3nu3
  Replies (32) Good night (2335) Bad night (6496)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3296) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My vibrator challenges you to a duel.

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  (610): My vibrator challenges you to a duel. http://tfl.nu/fz14
  Replies (18) Good night (3903) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.

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  (240): YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN. http://tfl.nu/d5pr
  Replies (12) Good night (2443) Bad night (600)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.

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  (717): I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild. http://tfl.nu/q7pb
  Replies (4) Good night (1529) Bad night (512)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue

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  (847): I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue http://tfl.nu/po5k
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun

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  (760): Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun http://tfl.nu/taap
  Replies (8) Good night (1205) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.

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  (540): You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going. http://tfl.nu/zi7j
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (223)

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