Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani

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(409): View more from Texas

i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever

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(609): View more from New Jersey

how was your night?

(212): View more from New York

well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.

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(907): View more from Alaska

The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

(907): View more from Alaska

Nevermind, it's not water.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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(317): View more from Indiana

When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.

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(516): View more from New York

Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.

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