I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?