So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory