Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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  (240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with http://tfl.nu/1e7c
  Replies (2) Good night (1702) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1872) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.

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  (512): he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak. http://tfl.nu/trp5
  Replies (151) Good night (1027) Bad night (4300)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

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  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (2167) Bad night (8519)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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  (313): So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale. http://tfl.nu/y4yj
  Replies (49) Good night (21135) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
  Replies (12) Good night (1326) Bad night (3018)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.

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  (817): Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer. http://tfl.nu/3l5u
  Replies (6) Good night (3093) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?

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  (770): He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude? http://tfl.nu/vcqn
  Replies (8) Good night (653) Bad night (2485)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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  (205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8
  Replies (6) Good night (2487) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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  (312): It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over. http://tfl.nu/eihc
  Replies (3) Good night (932) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Just trying to get my dicks in a row.

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  (928): Just trying to get my dicks in a row. http://tfl.nu/3g9d
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex

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  (306): she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex http://tfl.nu/jwtl
  Replies (7) Good night (893) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.

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  (801): Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later. http://tfl.nu/hc8l
  Replies (10) Good night (522) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Did you leave ur panties in the sink?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Kitchen or bathroom?

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  (940): Did you leave ur panties in the sink? (214): Kitchen or bathroom? http://tfl.nu/vwsu
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.

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  (334): Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him. http://tfl.nu/wkpb
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (137)

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