Barsexuality is the new black.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.