I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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