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is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
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