Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"

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(540): View more from Virginia

And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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(661): View more from California

My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?

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(941): View more from Florida

I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Bang-toberfest begins!!

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(310): View more from California

Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?

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(530): View more from California

I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that

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