We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
