I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
