four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
