Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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