remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
