i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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