remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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