She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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