Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They took my balls.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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