I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
