the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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