Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
