dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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