And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it's like iHOP with fire
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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