I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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