Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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