I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
